Expectant families get hyper-invested in writing birth plans, but I’d argue that postpartum plans are equally as important.
Postpartum plans cover the first 1-3 months after birth. They start after baby’s birth day and outline needs + expectations for the whole family’s adjustment + recovery with the little one.
In this post, I’m sharing what to consider as you share your postpartum plans that take back that formative period of time nature demands for you + your new baby.
Get out in front of it.
Ideally, share your postpartum plans before you’re asked.
Employers will want to file legal paperwork + line up coverage for your role well before you’re absent.
Grandparents will want to know when they can take their own public announcement pictures.
The list of “want to knows” can be lengthy!
Instead of keeping your postpartum plans on your to do list, get them written clearly with your partner + share them hot off the press.
What to Say to Close Family
Here’s a pre-written script for an idea of what to say to close family:
“Hi [Name] 👋🏼 We just talked with our midwives + decided on our post-birth plan. Just wanted to share with you!
When baby decides to come naturally — anytime between [due date window] — we’re going to let labor advance naturally, too.
The midwives will check in on us more frequently as we get closer to the birth. They provide all that we need for the actual birth and afterwards — even down to showering mom, feeding the family, and doing the laundry.
We have [helper name] helping with [older siblings + pets names], too.
Since we aren’t staying in the hospital, we are following the midwives’ recommendation to wait at least 2-weeks before hosting any other visitors, and then to reassess how we feel.
We realize that’s unconventional, but so is our home birth! So, please no hard feelings — this is just what’s healthiest for mom + baby. ♥️
We’ll be sure to let you know when we’re ready + able to introduce you to the little one in our home — and we’ll be sure to send some pictures/videos in the interim!”
This script briefly answers that you’ve got your bases covered, there’s no need for them to be concerned about safety or help, and that you have every intention of keeping them included.
Even with a well-delivered message, some family members may just not see the baby’s arrival the same way as you. That’s okay!
You might get some aggressive push-back. You might get some passive-aggressive comments. You might get the silent treatment.
If it feels like your crew’s reaction is selfish, that’s likely because they ARE being selfish. And, if they’re reading this, they’re gonna eye-roll at my having said so… 🤷🏻♀️
BUT — a less-than-supportive reaction means that they’re too caught up in how they feel to remember that your postpartum plans are in-place to make sure you + baby feel best recovering first. That’s not selfish on your part as the recovering family; it’s NECESSARY.
Birth is exhausting work. Breastfeeding is exhausting work. Bonding with a newborn is exhausting work. You’re smart to get ahead of the big work wherever you can.
So, their less-than-amused reaction doesn’t mean that you have to bend your needs to help them feel more comfortable.
Why, they might ask?
Because its at the expense of your comfort. And, honestly, that can’t be bought postpartum. It’s priceless.
Instead, just listen + be appreciative that they’re so invested in meeting this little one.
“I completely respect/understand that you feel that way. Thank you for being so excited with us — we are so excited for you to meet this baby as soon as possible!”
Waiting one more week, or however long you need until “possible”, truly is a “drop in the bucket” when they’ve already been waiting 40+ weeks. They’ll adjust just fine.
It’s okay to change your mind.
You may decide that you feel incredible and want to invite guests over earlier than you had expected. What a nice surprise!
Don’t feel like your initial postpartum plan decisions are etched in stone once they’re made.
The idea of a postpartum plan is so that the majority of important people around you in this important event know what your likely preferences are in a perfect world.
But, as we know, the world isn’t 100% perfect and plans are edited slightly to accommodate in either direction.
You are more than allowed to feel different and ask for different plans whenever!
What is stopping you from sharing that postpartum plan successfully?
If you want some emotional support + step-by-step guidance to write your postpartum plan, then get on the waitlist for the official announcement of my online course — Your Organic Postpartum™ — where we do exactly that.
I’d love to help you walk through your postpartum planning!